


The Ballad of The Fair Green Maiden

by Tommykaine



Series: I contain multitudes [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Backstory, Bad Flirting, Body Modification, Challenge Response, Comedy, Comedy and Porn, Crack, Crack and Porn, F/M, Fantasy, Femdom, Mistakes were made, NOTE: Not actually a ballad, Near-Death by Snu Snu, Oblivious Bard, Orcs, POV Female Character, Penis Enlargement Potion, Porn With Plot, Potions, Shameless Smut, Size Difference, Sort Of, Thicc Orc Lady, copying and reposting this work elsewhere without my permission is strictly forbidden!, fucking a woman that's like twice your size and has huge muscles has some risks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 03:27:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18002939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tommykaine/pseuds/Tommykaine
Summary: She turned towards him and glared, still he looked at her like she was a jar of water in the middle of a desert.Oh for fuck's sake.She marched towards him and pulled out her dagger again, pressing it against his throat."Listen to me, you pathetic little maggot. You will never speak of this, with anyone, or I will rip your cock off and shove it so far up your ass you will cough it up! Do you understand?!".The human's eyes lit up."You had me at 'pathetic little maggot' ".--------------------An orc has to keep guard to make sure their human prisoner does not escape.Too bad for her that this prisoner is a bard with a passion for orc ladies, horrible seduction skills and a remarkable tenacity.Then again, it's been so long since she's gotten laid she's not even sure she has standards... what could possibly go wrong?





	The Ballad of The Fair Green Maiden

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Fourth Week of LandeDiFandom's COW-T challenge (9th edition), for Mission 2, using the situation "receiving unwanted advances".
> 
> \-----
> 
> I'm not entirely sure if this even supposed to be arousing, but if you're here for bards fucking huge orc ladies with thicc thighs, well you're in luck!
> 
> If you'd like to have a look, I now have a website: [LINK](http://www.tommykaine.com/). I will post some exclusive stories on there so be sure to check it out from time to time!

Mogak was standing alone outside the prisoner's tent, glaring at the crackling campfire in front of her and at the tall trees that sourrounded her. The only other sound in the nights, aside from the sound of crickets and the wind, was the loud snoring of the prisoner

She was the only one to be left on duty to guard him while everyone else had left to "gather resources", or that was their excuse at least.

Mogak knew very well that it was a lie, but she couldn't say anything as she was the lowest in rank. Even if she snitched on them, no one would have cared except that those jerks would decide that she was a "spoilsport" and surely try to find a way to get back at her.

Not that she hadn't ever been invited, at first, but she was an orc of honour! She was there to do her job, not to waste time raiding nearby villages filled with nothing but small fries just for sport. That was just immature!

So they'd shrugged and left her behind to her job, which she wouldn't have minded except it was just so easy and boring that even a newborn orc could have done it. The only prisoner in there was currently a scrawny human that had sneaked in and was promptly beaten up and captured before he could get anywhere. He wasn't even awake! What a joke.

Mogak sighed, thinking to herself that this was not the life she had dreamed of when she decided to join that settlement.

Of course being the newcomer and all, it was to be expected, still she couldn't help but feel bitter. She was every bit as capable as the other orcs there, but the captain of the guards was a major asshole who clearly favoured looks over skills.

It wasn't her fault if she wasn't as tall nor as bulky as most of her peers! She just had small bones, that was all, but she trained every day to make up for it.

Sometimes she was tempted to punch the shit out of the captain so that he would stop scrunching up his nose at her and sneering as he said some shit along the lines of "I see, you must have a strong _personality_ , har har har!".

_I'll show you "personality" one of these days, you dim-witted bastard!_

Alas, she had to keep her calm and wait for her trial period to be over. With some luck, she would be transferred to a bigger camp if she did well and managed to find a way to stand out. Maybe one day she would even be part of the Orc King's army! That was her dream at least, and she'd always beaten up everyone who dared to laugh at her for it.

As she was thinking that, she suddenly looked around and frowned. Something was different... she tried to understand what it was, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. She pricked up her ears but she could hear nothing out of the norm...

_Wait._

The air was quiet now, too quiet...

The snoring had stopped!

She barged into the tent, dagger in hand as she cursed under her breath, hoping that sneaky bastard of a human hadn't somehow managed to escape while she was lost in her own thoughts.

However, it seemed that her worries were misplaced as the human was still there, tied up like a pork roast but now wide awake, staring at her with a look of shock in his green eyes.

"You-", he gasped in Common, seemingly unable to speak, and Mogak straightened her back and grinned as she thought that surely the human was terrified by the sight! She was truly a fearsome vision after all!

"Shut yer trap!", she barked at him in orcish, knowing that their guttural language always sounded much more threatening than it was to those weaklings. Even if he couldn't undestand her she was sure that he would get the jist of it.

And then, much to her shock, the man answered back to her in her own language.

"How can a man stay silent in the face of such beauty?", he asked, his puny human tongue and mouth mangling the words but even so there was no mistaking them - as much as Mogak was sure she must have hit her head and that was surely nothing but a very vivid hallucination, or possibly some sort of bug had crawled into her ears and poisoned her, because there was no way she could have heard that right.

"Are you deaf or what? Shut up or I will crush your head open!", she growled, her face turning slightly brown as the blood rushed to her cheeks.

"Oh, it would be a dream to feel those big rough hands on my face", the human said with a dreamy sigh, looking at her with the most idiotic expression she had ever seen.

As for Mogak, her face was rapidly heating up and her hands itched as she fought back the urge to enact her threat, remembering that she was supposed to _guard_ the prisoner, not kill him. They had yet to torture him to find out why he sneaked in there in the first place.

"What sort of- are you a fucking idiot?!", she asked, feeling her heart burn with anger. "Stop making fun of me!"

That bastard! Surely he was mocking her, there was no other explanation! It was not enough to have to grin and bear the commander's jabs without punching him, now she had to be insulted by a lowly human?! She would not stand for it!

"Making fun? I would not dare... though I would not be opposed to some fun if you know what I mean", the human shamelessly persevered, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

"That- how dare you?!".

She grasped on his shirt and raised him up until he was face to face with her, showing off her tusks and all of her teeth in a ferocious snarl.

"I'll warn you, human, you're really testing my patience! I've been instructed to keep you alive but nobody said you have to be in one piece", she threatened, but rather than having the expected effect the human was now grinning like the idiot he was.

And then, the bastard _smacked his lips on hers_ before she launched him across the tent with a shocked yelp.

"What on- YOU BEAST!"

Her heart was pounding like it never had before, her face so red and so warm that she was sure there'd be smoke coming out of it as she covered it with her hands, trembling from the embarrassment that she felt.

_How dare he! That pervert! That nasty little rat! I will kill him!_

"Forgive me, my lady, I could not stop myself", the human squeaked, rolling around until he somehow managed to push himself into a sitting position. "Your glowing green skin is like the moss on a pond, and your magnificent tusks, they are like two crescent moons illuminating your wonderfully flat face, oh and that nose-"

"SHUT UP! BY THE GODS, JUST- JUST SHUT UP!", she yelled, feeling as if she wanted nothing more but for the ground to open up and swallow her so she could hide in there forever.

What in the seven hells was that human saying?! No one had ever told her something so... so terribly embarrassing! She was a proud warrior, not some dainty elven maiden! To be complimented like that, it was... it was...

No. She would not be entertaining that sort of ridiculous thoughts, not even for a second. Plus, that... that scrawny thing! He was so puny and small, he looked like he would go down with just a punch. In fact she was pretty sure that was exactly what happened, from what the other guards had told her. And such a weakling dared to believe he could have a chance with her?! She might not have been the strongest nor the biggest orc around but she still had her dignity!

And yet...

She gulped.

She couldn't believe she was even considering it, but...

She peeked through her fingers, looking down at that perverted idiot.

His arms were stick-thin and looked like they would fall off if he tried to hold a proper sword with them. His skin was not as disgustingly pale as that of some other humans she had seen, but it still was an unsightly mud-like colour that had nothing of the vibrant green tones of her people. His face was so small, and in the middle of it was that sort of unsightly pointed nose that was typical of humans and elves. Even his teeth looked useless, how did those stupid creatures even eat meat with _those_?

In other words he was pathetic, even for human standards. She'd seen some that had some _muscle_ on them at least, but this one was so lean he looked like he would fly away if the wind blew too hard.

And still...

She couldn't help it! It had been so, _so_ long since someone showed any sort of interest in her.

 _Decades_ at least.

Maybe even an entire century!

...well, ok, maybe not _that_ long, but it sure _felt_ like it!

Was it her fault if all the orcs around her had such bad taste? Of course it wasn't! Any orc would be lucky to get his hands on all that. There was no need to sink as low as to let such a weakling touch her, was there?

She told herself that, sure, but _damn_ was she frustrated.

She peeked outside. No one would be back for hours, she was sure.

No one would ever know.

"My lady?".

She turned towards him and glared, still he looked at her like she was a jar of water in the middle of a desert.

_Oh for fuck's sake._

She marched towards him and pulled out her dagger again, pressing it against his throat.

"Listen to me, you pathetic little maggot. You will never speak of this, with anyone, or I will rip your cock off and shove it so far up your ass you will cough it up! Do you understand?!".

The human's eyes lit up.

"You had me at 'pathetic little maggot' ".

She cringed.

_I will regret this so bad._

But that was a thought for another day. For now, _fucking finally_ , she was gonna get some action.

  
  


The human looked even smaller without his clothes.

_Maybe this was a mistake after all._

Mogak looked down between his legs, raising one eyebrow at the sight of the puny, insignificant thing that was supposed to be his cock.

_Is that even going to feel like anything?_

"Leave it to me, my lady, I will show you pleasures that you've never even dreamed of!", the human promised.

Mogak scoffed.

"Your _arm_ isn't even as big as an orc's cock, and you think you can make me feel good with that thing? You fool!"

The human however did not seem discouraged in the slightest.

"Lady, I'm a _bard_. I'll have you know I'm really good with my mouth. You'll be begging for mercy before I even get to putting it in", he bragged, then he glanced to the side. "Also there's a potion there, in my bag. The blue vial. Give it to me and I'll show you".

"Yeah right, so that you can poison me! I knew it, this was all a ruse-"

"It's a Penis Enlargement Potion! It was very hard to find! Please give it to me and I'll show you!".

Mogak sighed, looking for the accursed blue vial and opening it for him, before uncerimoniously shoving the whole thing in his throat.

"GAH! What have you done?! That's too mu- _AAH!_ ".

The human didn't even finish his sentence before his cock suddenly twitched and swelled up within seconds, reaching a fully respectable size even for an orc's standards.

" _Now_ we're talking", she growled, grasping the pulsating, veiny shaft that now almost reached the man's chest.

"I feel a bit dizzy", the human complained, so she decided to shut him up with a rough kiss, pinning him down on the ground with one hand and stroking his cock with the other, keeping his arms above his head so that he would not try anything weird.

He came with a strangled cry against her lips, his hips bucking wildly as she teased its head, his semen spurting out in a large amount and with such force that it hit the top of the tent.

_Fuck. I'm gonna have to clean that up later. Or, well, I could always make him do it._

He was the one who made the mess after all, so it was only fair.

"Where did all that spunk go, huh?", she asked him, half teasing and half threatening as she saw him collapse and pant heavily, worried that she might be left unsatisfied after all.

"That was... uhn... just a warm-up, that's all!", the human replied, pushing himself up as soon as she let go of his arms. She eyed him warily as he crawled up towards her, burying his face inbetween her breasts and hugging them with both arms, as if he was trying to suffocate himself in there.

"Aaah, this is like heaven! I could die happily like this!", he moaned, and she glared down at him, hitting him with a chop.

"Not before I've had my fun you won't!", she gruffly said, pulling him back before his face could lose all its colour. "Get moving, vermin!".

"My gorgeous lady, please, call me Saduin".

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm Mogak".

"Such a melodious name! _Mogak..._ it just rolls of the tongue!".

It actually sounded more like he was hacking it out but she was not going to bother about the fine details in that moment.

"Why don't you use that tongue for something better instead?".

He did not wait to be told twice, sinking his hands into her soft boobs before latching his mouth on one of her nipples, licking and biting and sucking on it until she was panting and grasping on his torso so hard that she heard something crackle.

"Ops".

"Tis' but a scratch", he reassured her, still she made a mental note to keep her hands to herself and let him set his own rhythm. He seemed remarkably good at that, she had to admit, and soon she was groaning and shivering from his attentions, a puddle of her own fluids underneath her folded-up legs. She could not stand up after all, or he would not be able to reach her boobs.

At least, that was what she thought before he pointed out that while that was true, if he only crouched down a little it was just the right height for him to reach something even more interesting.

She had not been expecting much from him and thus far he'd surprised her greatly, but when he spread her glistening, dark green folds open and started licking her clit she had to cover her mouth to stop herself from moaning obscenely.

Soon enough her legs couldn't hold her up anymore and she almost crushed him between her thick, muscular thighs as she fell, smothering him with her crotch. Once she managed to prop herself up with her hands to allow him to breathe, however, she saw that his expression was one of bliss rather than fear.

"I take it back, this would be the best way a man could wish to die", he said in a sickeningly adoring tone.

Mogak rolled her eyes, not even bothering to comment at that point.

Besides, a few moments later that human did _something_ to her clit, and she was not sure of what but by that time she did not give a fuck as long as he didn't _fucking dare_ to stop or she would rip his fucking head off.

By the time she came with a loud howl-like moan that would have made her want to die of shame had she even been conscious of anything but her pleasure, he was almost drowning in her juices. Once she finally managed to roll to her side, he coughed and spluttered for almost a whole minute before chuckling to himself.

"It's so much easier to find when it's that big, huh".

Mogak herself needed some more time to catch her breath, her legs still trembling as the human bravely climbed on top of her and lined up his magically enlarged cock against her sopping wet entrance.

"Oh Goddess...", she gasped, unsure of whether she would be able to handle it so soon after her previous violent orgasm. "W-wait, just give me one- UGH!"

The bastard _did not_ wait, and since it had been so long since the last time, her pussy clamped tightly against the hard length.

She felt as if it was splitting her open at first, but he waited patiently for her discomfort to give way to pleasure, playing with her nipples with both hands and then grasping on her tits as if to use them as handles once he finally started moving.

"Y-you fucking...Ah!". She could not even manage to feel enough outrage to insult him once the pleasure got too strong, Saduin's hips swinging wildly as the human gave it his all, echoing her grunting and moaning until the whole tent was filled with their cries.

It seemed to continue forever, and the more it went on the more Mogak felt as if her brain was turning to mush, her legs wrapping around the human's hips while her claws scratched his back, no longer caring of whether she was crushing him or not as long as he kept on giving her pleasure.

She did not know who came first, but either way their orgasms seemed to fuel each other's, his warm cum filling her up and mixing with her own juices - and that was before she squirted, flooding both of their stomachs with her release.

Neither of them managed to move once they were done, too exhausted by the intense mating.

Both the ground underneath them and the tent were filthied by their fluids, and even the air around them felt damp.

The whole tent was now filled with the smell of sex, and once Mogak recovered enough of her reason, she realized there would be no way for her to hide what happened unless she burned the whole thing down.

_Ah well. At least I finally got laid._

She would think of something. They still had time.

Speaking of which...

She grinned. The human was still alive, it seemed.

Maybe he was not so weak and useless after all.

  
  


  
  


  
  


"And that is how I wooed the most beautiful orc lady that ever existed, outside of a man's dreams at least", the bard said to the large crowd sitting around him in a tavern, his voice filling with awe as he recalled that precious memory.

"...uhm, no, I am pretty sure you're the only one to have that sort of dreams", the bartender remarked, but Saduin ignored him.

"And then we made love again for the whole, and then she was so impressed with my prowess that she freed me because she could not stand the thought of her people torturing such a skillful lover!".

"Wasn't it more that she didn't want you to blabber about what you two did?", the hero remarked, raising an eyebrow in a sceptical expression. "Speaking of which, wouldn't she be incredibly pissed if she found out you're bragging about this with anyone who can hear you?".

"Nonsense, any man would brag of such a conquest, it's just common sense". Saduin shrugged, then his eyes suddenly lit up. "In fact, I think I will write a ballad about this great conquest!".

"...you really shouldn't".

"It's gonna be a hit, just you wait"

"You're the one who's gonna get hit. In the face. By a very furious and very vengeful orc".

Saduin shrugged.

"Naaah".

  
  


  
  


Many years later, a very furious and vengeful orc busted the door of that same tavern open with a punch, making it fly over the very terrified crowd before striding towards the even more terrified bartender and slamming him against the counter, pointing her sharp dagger against his trembling stomach.

"I am searching for a human named Saduin", she growled, her features twisted into a deranged mask of fury. "I hope for your sake that you can help me find that fucking piece of shit, _or else!_ ".

 _The Ballad of The Fair Green Maiden_ had been a success, alright.

So much that it was probably the most well-known song not only amongst humans, but it had been translated in dwarwen, elvish, merspeak and, of course, _orcish_.

_I fucking knew I'd regret it._

But not as much as him, once she could get her hands on him.

She would make sure of it.

_Just you wait._

  
  


 

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
> 
> Feedback
> 
>   * Short comments
>   * Long comments
>   * Questions
>   * Constructive criticism
>   * “<3” as extra kudos
>   * Reader-reader interaction
> 

> 
> I normally reply to all comments so if you do not wish for your comment to be replied to for any reason, please add "hush" somewhere in it and I will quietly appreciate it instead.


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